


Ebb and Flow

by pansythoughts



Series: Softer Shades [3]
Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Kissing, M/M, Romantic Friendship, Self-Doubt, subtle Shakespeare quotations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-23
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-04-06 23:39:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14068104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pansythoughts/pseuds/pansythoughts
Summary: “You seem,” Wataru starts, then pauses, seeming to search for the word. Kanata thinks he almost sees Wataru’s eyes sliding back and forth, as if words exist in the ether, and Wataru must be the one to find them. “You seem subdued,” Wataru settles upon eventually. Kanata frowns thoughtfully, and lays his head on the stone next to Wataru.Two moments, in the past and present, when Kanata and Wataru met at the school fountain.





	Ebb and Flow

_A moment in the past_

The ocean churns and rushes violently even when you can't see who or what it is fighting.

It's a rare quiet moment, the eye of a storm, but Kanata still roils, still feels ill at ease, even as he sits in the calm waters of the Yumenosaki fountain.

He was defeated. He was turned into a monster, and taken down by a real monster wearing an angel’s face. Water can force its way around a cliff over enough time, but Kanata doesn’t know how he can face the cliff that is Tenshouin Eichi and force his way around, not yet.

Lost in his thoughts, Kanata doesn’t notice anyone approaching until they sit on the fountains edge next to him. Kanata starts, and is greeted with a friendly face.

“Kanata, my friend!” Wataru greets, louder and more cheerful than the moment calls for. Kanata smiles despite himself.

“Wataru,” he draws out in response. It must lack some of his usual cheer, because Wataru’s smile vanishes. The look doesn’t suit him, Kanata thinks.

“You seem,” Wataru starts, then pauses, seeming to search for the word. Kanata thinks he almost sees Wataru’s eyes sliding back and forth, as if words exist in the ether, and Wataru must be the one to find them. “You seem subdued,” Wataru settles upon eventually. Kanata frowns thoughtfully, and lays his head on the stone next to Wataru.

Kanata pauses for a second, torn.

He knows that most people are uninterested in what he has to say; he has always been a creature seen, not heard. But that’s not the only truth anymore--the other monsters cast out with him had become his friends. It was still new, and so fragile Kanata feared it could still break. But friends listened, and shared their troubles, or so he had been led to believe.

“I think I am ‘lost,’” Kanata replies after a beat, looking ahead but not really seeing anything. 

When he doesn’t immediately continue, Wataru makes a little humming noise, prompting Kanata to go on. Kanata shifts slightly, turning to face Wataru, and lets out a breath.

“I don’t know ‘how’ to be someone’s ‘enemy,’” Kanata continues, “and I don’t know ‘why’ I have to be. I’m not a ‘monster,’ Wataru.” 

Kanata notices, belatedly, that his hands are shaking slightly. It is probably a small thing, two sentences, barely anything at all. But it is the first time he has confessed genuine distress with what is happening, the first time he has told someone else that something was wrong. He hopes that Wataru understands that.

Wataru raises a hand, and Kanata for a moment isn’t sure why, until Wataru starts to card through Kanata’s hair with his fingers. Its warm, Kanata thinks with a start, and leans in to the touch. 

“Sometimes the role that we are cast in is not the role for which we are best suited,” Wataru replies, smiling down at Kanata with something Kanata thinks might be sadness. “The role of the villain certainly doesn’t suit someone as gentle as you, my friend.”

This gives Kanata pause. “You think I’m ‘gentle?’” Kanata asks, genuinely surprised. He’s been called many things over the years, but gentle has never been one of them. 

“Of course!” Wataru exclaims, and begins to gesture along as he speaks. “You are the gentle giant of the sea, a magnificent creature so like, like…” 

“A ‘Blue Whale,” Kanata says, giggling as he comes to Wataru’s rescue. “They only ‘eat’ little ‘krill.’”

“Yes! A Blue Whale, drifting through the tides, content to be at his own merry whim and reason! You are not the shark that goes after the smallest scent of blood in the water, but rather the grazer that is borne ceaselessly on with the currents!” Wataru finishes with a flourish, arms outstretched, and smile spread wide across his face.

Kanata laughs in earnest now at Wataru’s theatrics. “When you ‘say’ it like that, I guess I am ‘gentle.’”

“And now you’re laughing again, gentle friend, and I’m glad for it,” Wataru says, smile softening. “The look suits you far more than a somber expression.”

Kanata smiles back at Wataru. “Thank you for ‘listening,’ Wataru,” he says softly, “I think ‘you’ weren’t made to be a ‘monster’ either.” 

“Perhaps,” Wataru replies evenly, with almost no trace of the cheer in his voice. Kanata is afraid for a moment that he has overstepped. “But sometimes it is thrust upon us even so, and it is yet another part we must play to our fullest.” This response surprises Kanata.

“But you don’t ‘want’ to be the ‘villain,’ right?”

“It’s not about what I want, but rather the will of the people. I am but a poor player who must strut and fret my hour upon the stage, and my feelings on the matter simply don’t apply.”

“But that’s not ‘fair!’” And Kanata is suddenly adamant about this, surging up out of the water to look Wataru in the eyes. “If I am ‘gentle,’ Wataru is ‘kind;’ you don’t have to be the ‘monster’ just because ‘someone’ said so!”

Wataru eyes widen at the sudden outburst. “Thank you, Kanata,” he says softly, almost surprised.

Kanata realizes in that moment that, maybe, he and Wataru are actually a lot alike. Maybe Wataru hasn’t heard that he is allowed to be who he wants to be, instead of who other people want him to be. Kanata knows that that’s something that was recently news to him.

He resolves that he might need to tell his friend that more.

  
~~~  


_A moment in the present_

The ocean, more than anything, acts in cycles; the tide goes out and comes back in, and the waves are circles that keep coming back. 

Kanata too, lives in cycles, and always comes back to sit and enjoy the sunshine in the fountain every day he can (and sometimes too when he actually can’t). As he sits in the shallow water, he reflects that the quiet moments aren’t so rare now. He, too, is not the roiling sea he once was, but now more like a quiet sound caught, happily, between land on either side.

Kanata closes his eyes and lays back in the water, enjoying the sun on his face. Like this, he doesn’t hear someone come up beside him, and sit on the ledge of the fountain.

“Well this is a familiar sight,” a voice says, and Kanata sits up out the water to see Wataru once again sitting next to him. Things have of course changed since that time, but Wataru chatting with him as he lounges in the fountain is never one of them.

“Wataru always seems to ‘surprise’ me,” Kanata says with a broad smile. 

Wataru smiles back in response. “But of course! What is life without surprises?” He lifts a hand to Kanata’s hair and starts carding through the wet strands, a familiar gesture. “You look refreshed lately, my old friend,” Wataru says, soft.

“Things are ‘good,’” Kanata agrees, leaning in to the touch. “It’s ‘nice’ to have somewhere I ‘belong,’ now.” An image of Chiaki and the first years comes to mind, warm and welcoming, and Kanata smiles at the thought. He had a real home now, for maybe the first time ever.

“That’s wonderful, Kanata,” Wataru says, with less affectation and much more sincerity than usual.

Kanata makes a thoughtful noise. “Is it the ‘same’ for Wataru?”

Wataru doesn’t hesitate before nodding. “While it was not the role I thought would suit me, I’ve grown to enjoy having this new space to explore,” Wataru says with enthusiasm. 

Kanata presses further, unsatisfied with that answer. “Do they ‘expect’ you to be a ‘certain way?’”

Wataru pauses then, seeming to measure and weigh his next words with great care. “Each member of fine requires their own role for me, and that is the greatest challenge: satisfying each of them in turn, giving them that character at the choicest moment,” he says very seriously, before chuckling, “Despite my immense talent, I suspect I am getting close to having to act simply like, well, me!”

“Good,” Kanata says, smiling again. “The Wataru I like ‘best’ is the one that acts ‘like Wataru.’”

“Aha! I have tamed even the noble Blue Whale with this act, I am truly incredible!” Wataru exclaims, and Kanata giggles.

“Wataru is ‘the best,’” Kanata says, laughter still in his voice.

“I, of course, like you as well, my old friend,” Wataru says, soft again. 

This moment feels right for another, newer cycle, another thing Kanata learned he was allowed to have with Wataru. Kanata leans in and grabs hold of Wataru’s uniform tie, pulling him down to meet him halfway; Wataru closes the final distance between them. 

It’s not their first kiss, nor their second or third, but instead one of many. But all of them are special to Kanata. Kissing Wataru feels like looking at the place where the sea meets the sky,  
like another kind of home that was made just for the two of them. Kanata couldn’t chase the smile off of his face if he tried.

“For that, my friend, I’d scorn to change my state with kings,” Wataru says, so only the two of them can hear. Kanata’s only response is to lean in and kiss him again.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Infinity, an unofficial Ensemble Stars zine for rarepairs. I really love the concept of a rarepair zine, because there's so many interesting ships that just get lost in the shuffle. Writing WataKana was really fun! Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed.


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